Work Life – The Office Black Girl

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories, The Ebony Alpha, Uncategorized, Updates

Grateful Chaos

October 2, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

The last two weeks have not gone quite how I expected. Despite feeling like a Mack truck has run me over every morning, I am actually in a really good head space.

I just wanted to give a quick update as I finally start to recover from the craziness that has been the last two weeks…

My small business was given an opportunity for a new venture. Unfortunately, the timeline was right in the midst of a big work event, and I underestimated how long it would take. BUT…..I pushed through and got it done, and I think the client was really happy. Plus, it has given me a new fire for my business, which was slowly dying to glowing embers.
I got a raise at work and my own office. My boss is at retirement age, but she is pretty much the owner of the company’s right-hand (wo)man. I feel like she is doing all she can to make sure I don’t quit. I don’t necessarily want her job (at least not all of it; she wears too many hats), but if my business doesn’t blow up…I wouldn’t be surprised if I was named her successor.
My job has a yearly event that is almost two weeks long. I really wanted to update The Ebony Alpha, but between the crazy work schedule and my business project, I couldn’t muster enough brain cells to push through and put out anything good. But I am determined to get a few updates this week.
Lastly, I finally launched The Office Black Girl Coloring Book last month. The paperback is available on Amazon and the digital download is available on Etsy. As of today, I have sold 27 paperbacks and 20 digital downloads. That may seem small to some, but I know how hard it is to get noticed online for anything, so I am soooooo grateful for the orders. If you happen to purchase one, I would greatly appreciate it if you could leave a review (especially a picture one on Amazon ;-)). Gotta compete with the algorithm.

The chaos is calming down at work, but my creative juices are returning. So I am excited to get back into writing and maybe creating another coloring book.

Thank you for all of the new followers and the engagement I have received for The Office Black Girl on various platforms. It honestly means so much.

Here’s to October being an amazing month!

Uncategorized

Do It Anyway Because…Why Not?

June 12, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Years ago, I worked at a company that was toxic. What a surprise, right?

While there were many problems with the company and leadership, I couldn’t deny that the company put many women in leadership roles. Should those women have been in management? Fuck no. But it was something (I guess).

Despite the poor examples of women in leadership roles, there was a meeting they held on Women’s International Day or during Women’s History Month (I don’t remember), and one of the women VPs made a comment that will forever stay with me.

She talked about applying for jobs and the difference between men and women. When women apply for a job, they ask the question of “why,” while men often say, “Why not?”

As women, we often look at job postings and compare them to our own experiences and overthink the process. But a man who may have little to no qualifications that match will proceed with an application and say, “Why not me?”

While this is an overgeneralization, it has stuck with me. I have often limited myself because it is hard to wrap my mind around the idea of “Why not” as opposed to thinking of every reason why I shouldn’t or what could go wrong.

The Office Black girl is a prime example of my overthinking. My dashboard sits with dozens of started blog posts that sit in drafts because I am wary of posting them. The same goes with stories I have started and sit hidden on my laptop. Because I dwell too much on the idea that I will create stories that will offend, bore, or go completely unnoticed. What if I share something that reads like an incompetent person wrote it? So I ask myself….why? Why share my stories? Why embarrass myself?

It’s funny what a couple sessions of therapy and a song can do for your mindset.

Recently, I stumbled across this song by Erica Mason called “Do It Anyway,” and it has been on repeat during my morning commute to work. It’s definitely a motivator to really push myself in the areas I am passionate about despite my hesitations. Maybe I’ll even post/share those drafts that have been clogging up my dashboard and laptop.

While I still ask, “Why,” my brain is slowly starting to lean more frequently toward “Why not” and proceed to do it anyway. Hopefully, this is a wave I can ride for a while. Or better yet….why not forever?

What is motivating you these days?

365 Days of Posts, Hair, Office Stories

White Men and Wig Obsessions

May 31, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

I don’t think I have ever worked somewhere where my hair was a topic of discussion as much as it has been since working for this company. I somewhat blame myself. I allowed myself to be open enough that, somehow, my honesty about a wig has turned into a frequent question about what is on my head.

My director informed me yesterday that the owner of the company asked about my hair. Apparently, he was unable to tell if my real hair was a wig or not. Keep in mind all of my wigs come from Amazon, and they are definitely the cheaper ones. But what I found even odder about the conversation was that he has never had a problem commenting on my hair before to my face, so why the change? But the time he asked, I was rocking my natural hair.

The director then proceeded to tell me that he asked if the other black woman in the office was wearing a wig. The director said, “Oh yea.”

On another note, I do find it interesting that when she started working here, her hair was natural and out. But about a week in, she has worn a wig with no natural hair to be revealed since. There is no judgment, but given that there are only two black women in this company, I wonder if her choice to conceal her natural hair is a conscious one or just a matter of convenience.

Back to me…

What is crazy to me is that the people who have the most comments about my hair are the white men in the office. The IT guy, who comes in once a week, makes a comment every time he sees me, even going as far as to tell me he prefers my real hair.

While I appreciate working for a company that hasn’t tried to punish me for my hair choices (because, let’s be for real, the biases are still real in the corporate world), I am over the fascination. It has taken me years to reach a point where I can leave my house with my natural hair, not in “ideal” curls but in the various levels of curl and puff with confidence. A confidence that comes after years of Eurocentric hair ideals messing with my psyche.

Even with this unwanted spotlight on my hair, I keep my head high, and I own every hairdo I rock to work. But I don’t like the feeling of my relative openness to talk about my hair is starting to make me feel like the star of some sort of freak show.

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories

The Office Calorie Counter

May 1, 2023by The Office Black Girl1 Comment

Working in an office comes with its downfalls, especially in the weight department.

While I make an effort to step away from my desk as often as possible, there is no denying that office jobs are not very active. It doesn’t help if you work someplace that provides snacks or lunch.

I am a whole grown-ass woman. I am very aware of my weight and the choices I make. But there is something greatly annoying about the type of coworkers (usually female) who feel the need to constantly talk about calories and diets.

Like I get it, there are a lot of calories in this free lunch. But I don’t need you to rain on my parade with your depressing facts while I’m just trying to save some money in these wonderful days of inflation.

There is one department at my company that seems to indulge in the conversation of calories every once in a while, but for the most part, I live in the safety of coworkers who believe in the power of snacks and a candy bar stash on a crappy day.

This weekend, I was “lucky” enough to train a possible new hire. While her whole personality didn’t sit right with my spirit, it was her unprovoked need to talk to me about the calories in snack candy packs that sealed her fate in my desire to never work with her again.

You may ask, why does this bother me or think that I am being ridiculous in even blogging about this. And to some degree, I would find that to be a perfectly valid point. But I figured this rambling would be a nice break from the random moments of racist comments in the office 😉

That being said, the office calorie counters remind me of reasons people hate returning back to the office or why they never liked being in the office to begin with. Despite, the problematic stories I have shared so far, I actually like most of my coworkers and even the environment most of the time. But calorie counters hold a special place in my heart of annoyances.

This weekend just reminded me of the delights of being forced to interact with coworkers who feel the need to impose upon you their personal beliefs. Beliefs that are delivered with judgment and zero sense of awareness always make working in the office that much more enjoyable.

Uncategorized

Double Homicide: Offending Black People and Asians

April 20, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

It is the end of the day, and I have been running on fumes since I woke up this morning.

I even contemplated how I was going to find the energy to talk about my hair being the topic of discussion at work, but after another racially focused conversation with my boss…

I figured, let’s get into it…while on the clock.

One of my good friends is getting married this weekend. Because I don’t have the time or patience to deal with getting my hair done, I decided to put passion twists in my hair this past weekend. I figured the changing of my hair would bring some people to comment (it always does), but today felt a bit different.

The only people who commented were the owner of the company, a manager, and one other person. All three of them are white men. I don’t think a single woman said anything to me about my hair today. The manager asked me how long it took, which took me by surprise. He and the owner both told me my hair looked nice. I awkwardly accepted the comment and moved on.

But it was the third guy who made me feel some type of way. He said my hair made me look like I was ready to fight. I rolled with it and said I am always ready to fight to make a joke out of it. A coworker from my department happened to be around, and she made a comment. She asked if I had ever worked somewhere where so many people had something to say about my hair.

I was quick to suppress my initial response of “No, because I have never worked in such a minimally diverse company before,” but I just laughed and told her no.

But it is not the first time that someone has made a comment about me basically whooping someone’s ass. I was introduced to a new employee, and his manager basically told him that while my coworker may kick his butt, I definitely would. On St. Patrick’s Day, I failed to wear green, and another manager made a comment about if she pinched me that I would probably knock her out.

There have been other comments here and there, but today really had me reflect on them. I am not a tiny girl, and I definitely make it known that I will not put up with shit. But at the same time, I can not recall a time that I have asserted myself as a violent person without real provocation.

I told my husband, as I always do. He asked if I was okay, and I said either I am too tired or I just accepted that it isn’t worth having the awkward conversation. Though I did ask the manager if I seemed like a violent person. He said no and smirked before saying I look like I could hold my own, though, and I look like I was “raised.”

But as I step away from my assumptions about my coworkers and my blackness, I stepped right into another conversation about Asians.

Now, I do feel like we live in an overly PC society these days, and many people are too easily offended. However, I try to stay in my lane to some extent. It is not my place to tell another marginalized group how they should feel about certain language targeted at them. So when it comes to the word “Oriental,” I try to fall in line with the least problematic approach.

So today, my boss is telling us a story and stated that he was informed he shouldn’t use a word about Asians. While he was trying to remember the word, I offered, “I hope you don’t mean ‘oriental.'”

He tells me that it is and asks me why it is offensive and why young people felt it was their job to dictate that. I always find it funny how comfortable he is spewing out bullshit.

I simply told him from my understanding that oriental is usually in reference to objects and that the history of the word has had a negative connotation in reference to Asian people. Long story short, he stated he would still use the word and he determined it was not offensive.

WTF!?

It is such a roller coaster working here because, for the most part, I genuinely like the people I work with, but some of the older people (and a few younger ones) say some problematic shit. And I always wonder where that leaves me when I am smack dab in the middle of it with no exit plan.

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories, Uncategorized

Dogs in the Workplace

March 9, 2023by The Office Black Girl6 Comments

Confessing to people that I don’t really like dogs seems harder than telling people I don’t like children. I don’t get what it is that makes people get more offended that I am not a fan of dogs, but they will quickly agree or accept my issues with children.

I love my children and my nieces and nephews. But children, in general, are not my thing. Amusingly enough, my views about babies are similar to that of dogs. I have moments of delusion that I want another baby, just like I think I want a dog. But I am quickly reminded that I don’t want either every time.

That gibberish aside, let’s talk about my job and the dogs that frequent the space.

One of the managers has a dying dog that she brings to work every day. The dog is pretty calm and only seems to give a defensive growl when she sees someone new or an employee with a hat that she can no longer recognize.

My only issue with her is that she roams the building, and I feel like I can’t leave my food at my desk without worrying about her sticking her nose all in it. Fortunately, she doesn’t jump up for food, but I don’t think people are as mindful of how close they leave community meals near the edge of the table when she is roaming around.

The same manager has a second dog, who doesn’t like me very much. The first time I went into her office, he growled at me. Ever since, he always gives me this huff. She keeps trying to get the dog to come near me as if to apologize. But in my mind, I’m thinking, “Fuck that dog.”

Someone in accounting recently bought a puppy and has brought her into the office. She is tiny and sweet, so of course, I am unbothered by her. There is one more dog that occasionally pops in, and it is my department coworker’s dog. But her dog is old, tiny, and docile. On top of that, she understands and respects the fact that people have their reasons for not loving dogs.

But yesterday…

I was ready to snap at my boss (the owner of the company) when he brought his dog in. When I had my interview, I remember seeing a dog in the building and mentioning that during the interview. They asked if I had a problem with dogs. Of course, I said no (I needed a job) and proceeded to mention as long as it wasn’t a pit, I would be fine.

The two women looked at each other and mentioned the owner had a pit, but he doesn’t really come to the office.

Yesterday, in front of my desk, the manager’s dog (the one that doesn’t like me) and the owner’s dog had a bit of a fight. It immediately triggered my “fight or flight” anxiety.

The owner then proceeded to try to get his pit near me by saying how much I wanted to meet it (I don’t know if it is a girl or boy). I snapped and said I don’t. He then started giving me a weird look and said he didn’t know I had an issue with dogs. I immediately corrected him and told him I have no issues with dogs that are calm and I am familiar with them.

I have issues with pit bulls I have never seen that immediately get into a fight with a dog in front of me and are jump-happy.

I get people love their dogs like children, and I am just trying to get through the workday with as little drama as possible and collect my check. However, my boss would be sadly mistaken if he thinks that the wrong interaction between his dog and I won’t cost him his company.

Cause trust me, I will be quick to promote myself from The Office Black Girl to CEO.

What do you think about dogs in the workplace? Share your thoughts in the comments.

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories

The Internet is a Funny Place

March 8, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

The internet is a funny place. It gives people an exaggerated feeling of their reality-based feelings.

People fear putting themselves out there because they are afraid that the world is watching them and ready to laugh. But the reality is you are lucky if you pop up on a few people’s feeds, and that includes people who actually care about you.

The Internet also seems to give people a ridiculous amount of confidence. Whether it is the confidence to tear people down online because you hide behind a faceless image. Or the comments of strangers blow your head up so big that you somehow think your internet popularity automatically translates to real-life currency by default.

I find myself sitting somewhere in the middle of the delusion. Or maybe it is just a different lane of delusion altogether.

As I bring up this blog to share my thoughts, I wonder if people are already tired of me or who really cares about my office experience. Sometimes it shifts to what if I did become popular online. Would I even be able to maintain content that people would give a shit about?

When I started typing today’s post, I was going to talk about another racially awkward moment with my boss (I have a few new ones). But with the joys of ADHD, I shifted to another track of thinking. But there was a process to getting here.

Today (I actually wrote this yesterday), I took pictures of the women in my office for International Women’s Day. Of course, I knew no one would be happy, and one even asked me if someone would be taking my picture.

I tried to tell the women I would not post anything unflattering of them online, but as I scanned through the pictures, I did start to think about how cruel the internet is. I didn’t edit any of the pictures (because that isn’t even in my skillset), but I did crop them to reduce any anxiety the pictures may trigger.

Usually, I try to stay behind the camera when it comes to my job….for many reasons. But even as I inserted a work photo of myself, I couldn’t help but think about the possibility of someone commenting something nasty on the picture.

So far, the comments have only been kind to the men posted on our social media, but for some reason, I feel like someone won’t be able to help themselves. I hope I am wrong, and I hope these thoughts are just a waste of energy. Because the internet is full of overconfident faceless assholes, and I don’t want to be another faceless asshole who exposed my coworkers to that for social media engagement.

On that note…Happy International Women’s Day.

365 Days of Posts, Mental Health Journey, Office Stories

Sometimes The Money Isn’t Enough

Featuredby The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

It is almost 10 at night and I am sitting here trying to gather the bottom-of-the-barrel brain cells to complete a freelance job for someone. My contacts are hours past the point of needing to be taken out, and my annoyance is just tapering off.

I started doing freelance marketing work during the start of the pandemic because, like so many others, I found myself unemployed. For years, I felt fortunate to have clients to help build my portfolio and give me a steady line of work without constantly hustling for work.

But I think I have reached the point where I can no longer ignore the burnout, even if it has been screaming in my face for months.

I had a conversation today with a co-worker. We talked about work-life balance and how basically, our mental health falls behind our desire to pay bills. I find myself making that “joke” a lot: my bills don’t give a fuck about my mental health, or me mentally breaking down just to keep my credit from falling to shit.

My husband tells me to quit the freelance stuff. He has even encouraged me to invest more time into The Office Black Girl. But this online world doesn’t pay the bills. While I appreciate his belief in me, fear runs deep in my veins.

I hate to admit that I have had the chance to pursue my side hustles and projects as something full-time, but I messed up. I wasted my opportunities and, even worse, a lot of money. So I find myself here on a Thursday night, trying to find a single thread of thought to latch onto and create this content for this client before I go to bed.

Do I want to? No. Do I secretly want the client to tell me that they have found a cheaper option and “fire” me? Maybe.

Then I remember I have a credit card payment due that has yet another late fee attached to it. And I remind myself that I must keep doing the work, despite everything else overflowing on my plate.

But maybe one day I will just let it go and focus on what I find joy in…..maybe.

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories

Working & Bleeding

Featuredby The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Years ago, I was one of the “lucky” women with “easy” periods. With the wonderful help of birth control, I would have a period for about a day and didn’t have any crazy side effects. Well, I did get abnormally horny. That would usually be a T.M.I. portion of the story, but we are talking about periods.

But in recent years, I swear Karma is getting her lick back or something because dealing with my period is now a whole ordeal.

I have now started getting migraines that make me question my existence, followed by my whole body deciding to jump on the dumpster fire train. But what adds to the misery is having to go to work while my body betrays me. I have been looking at the same billboard design for the last hour, hoping no one notices that I have barely tapped on my keyboard.

If I didn’t know better, I would think I was sick.

Or maybe I am sick. While my bad mood may be the only contagious symptom, the rest should warrant a sick day without penalty. To be fair, I could probably ask my director to go home without any issue. But this is a reoccurring problem; unfortunately, our society is not built to give a shit about accommodating the complications of women’s menstrual cycles and work demands.

It is as if the natural occurrences of being a woman become obstacles to being a well-balanced, career woman. In 2023, we should stop treating men’s lives as the standard for workplace expectations. Because how can you win at work when only half the workforce can experience the burden of mother nature, and many of them don’t bother to understand?

365 Days of Posts, Uncategorized

Vague, Quick Update

January 24, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

It is 2 something in the afternoon, and I am struggling to get through this work day.

My head has been spinning for the last couple of days as I have replayed a conversation over and over in my head. I have WAAAAY too many things on my plate, and my husband asked about one of them. He asked if I was letting things fall to the back burner. And I think he was surprised when I said…

YES! DEFINITELY, YES!

He seemed taken aback by my answer and then asked me why I took on so much. In a reasonable, ideal world….it is a valid question. But I had to inform him that I am trying to dig myself out of debt, work a full-time job, have a side hustle (that I hope turns to a full-time job), a passion project (that I hope turns to a side hustle), be a halfway okay mom and wife (because I am too tired to be superwife/mom), and somehow get to the gym so I can lose a hundred pounds.

Everything is spilling off of my plate. The only thing that is pushing me forward is coffee and delusion. However, there is something whispering in the back of my mind that I am finally on my way to making big things happen for myself; I just have to keep all of this shit on my plate in the meantime.

As I search for my next cup of coffee, I hope you will take the time to indulge in the latest chapter of my passion project: The Ebony Alpha. You can find it on Wattpad and the Dreame app.