Office Politics – The Office Black Girl

My “Weirdness” About Memorial Day

May 29, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

I need to start off with the fact that Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day are not the same. Memorial Day is to remember those who passed away while serving our country. Veteran’s Day is for all who have served.

It is probably not that serious in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason, I find great annoyance when I see people’s posts, especially a business, that seems to lump the two together.

I will also add, my husband served, as well as my father and several other family members. It s probably what makes me more aware of the way people seem to confuse the two days, but I think it would slightly bug me even if I had no connection to the military.

As a business owner and someone who works in marketing, I always feel weird about posting about certain holidays, and Memorial Day is one of them. I am an overthinker, so that doesn’t help my cringe.

I feel some type of way about posting sales for a holiday that is meant to honor the dead, but I am not immune to engaging in a sale or enjoying the day off (though my current job does not believe in taking off for Memorial Day). I try to acknowledge the day for what it is, but as a black business owner operating during an overly sensitive time period, I get wary that a potential customer will look at my business as “too political.”

Even crazier, I get worried that my “patriotic” post will attract extreme right-leaning followers who will then be offended when I make a reference to being a “black woman-owned business.” While I don’t care if my customers’ political views align with mine, I just don’t want it to be an issue when they engage with me and my business.

With all of the crazy that runs through my mind, I do choose to at least post about it. A few years ago, a friend of mine from college was killed while serving. Only months before, he had messaged me that he was finally going to get out of the military. I found out he was killed through Facebook. He had served for as long as I had known him, but to think he was ready to get out and finally start a new chapter in his life…

…it makes it that much more important that I acknowledge Memorial Day for what it is. A remembrance of those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories

The Office Calorie Counter

May 1, 2023by The Office Black Girl1 Comment

Working in an office comes with its downfalls, especially in the weight department.

While I make an effort to step away from my desk as often as possible, there is no denying that office jobs are not very active. It doesn’t help if you work someplace that provides snacks or lunch.

I am a whole grown-ass woman. I am very aware of my weight and the choices I make. But there is something greatly annoying about the type of coworkers (usually female) who feel the need to constantly talk about calories and diets.

Like I get it, there are a lot of calories in this free lunch. But I don’t need you to rain on my parade with your depressing facts while I’m just trying to save some money in these wonderful days of inflation.

There is one department at my company that seems to indulge in the conversation of calories every once in a while, but for the most part, I live in the safety of coworkers who believe in the power of snacks and a candy bar stash on a crappy day.

This weekend, I was “lucky” enough to train a possible new hire. While her whole personality didn’t sit right with my spirit, it was her unprovoked need to talk to me about the calories in snack candy packs that sealed her fate in my desire to never work with her again.

You may ask, why does this bother me or think that I am being ridiculous in even blogging about this. And to some degree, I would find that to be a perfectly valid point. But I figured this rambling would be a nice break from the random moments of racist comments in the office 😉

That being said, the office calorie counters remind me of reasons people hate returning back to the office or why they never liked being in the office to begin with. Despite, the problematic stories I have shared so far, I actually like most of my coworkers and even the environment most of the time. But calorie counters hold a special place in my heart of annoyances.

This weekend just reminded me of the delights of being forced to interact with coworkers who feel the need to impose upon you their personal beliefs. Beliefs that are delivered with judgment and zero sense of awareness always make working in the office that much more enjoyable.

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories, Uncategorized

Dogs in the Workplace

March 9, 2023by The Office Black Girl6 Comments

Confessing to people that I don’t really like dogs seems harder than telling people I don’t like children. I don’t get what it is that makes people get more offended that I am not a fan of dogs, but they will quickly agree or accept my issues with children.

I love my children and my nieces and nephews. But children, in general, are not my thing. Amusingly enough, my views about babies are similar to that of dogs. I have moments of delusion that I want another baby, just like I think I want a dog. But I am quickly reminded that I don’t want either every time.

That gibberish aside, let’s talk about my job and the dogs that frequent the space.

One of the managers has a dying dog that she brings to work every day. The dog is pretty calm and only seems to give a defensive growl when she sees someone new or an employee with a hat that she can no longer recognize.

My only issue with her is that she roams the building, and I feel like I can’t leave my food at my desk without worrying about her sticking her nose all in it. Fortunately, she doesn’t jump up for food, but I don’t think people are as mindful of how close they leave community meals near the edge of the table when she is roaming around.

The same manager has a second dog, who doesn’t like me very much. The first time I went into her office, he growled at me. Ever since, he always gives me this huff. She keeps trying to get the dog to come near me as if to apologize. But in my mind, I’m thinking, “Fuck that dog.”

Someone in accounting recently bought a puppy and has brought her into the office. She is tiny and sweet, so of course, I am unbothered by her. There is one more dog that occasionally pops in, and it is my department coworker’s dog. But her dog is old, tiny, and docile. On top of that, she understands and respects the fact that people have their reasons for not loving dogs.

But yesterday…

I was ready to snap at my boss (the owner of the company) when he brought his dog in. When I had my interview, I remember seeing a dog in the building and mentioning that during the interview. They asked if I had a problem with dogs. Of course, I said no (I needed a job) and proceeded to mention as long as it wasn’t a pit, I would be fine.

The two women looked at each other and mentioned the owner had a pit, but he doesn’t really come to the office.

Yesterday, in front of my desk, the manager’s dog (the one that doesn’t like me) and the owner’s dog had a bit of a fight. It immediately triggered my “fight or flight” anxiety.

The owner then proceeded to try to get his pit near me by saying how much I wanted to meet it (I don’t know if it is a girl or boy). I snapped and said I don’t. He then started giving me a weird look and said he didn’t know I had an issue with dogs. I immediately corrected him and told him I have no issues with dogs that are calm and I am familiar with them.

I have issues with pit bulls I have never seen that immediately get into a fight with a dog in front of me and are jump-happy.

I get people love their dogs like children, and I am just trying to get through the workday with as little drama as possible and collect my check. However, my boss would be sadly mistaken if he thinks that the wrong interaction between his dog and I won’t cost him his company.

Cause trust me, I will be quick to promote myself from The Office Black Girl to CEO.

What do you think about dogs in the workplace? Share your thoughts in the comments.

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories

Working & Bleeding

Featuredby The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Years ago, I was one of the “lucky” women with “easy” periods. With the wonderful help of birth control, I would have a period for about a day and didn’t have any crazy side effects. Well, I did get abnormally horny. That would usually be a T.M.I. portion of the story, but we are talking about periods.

But in recent years, I swear Karma is getting her lick back or something because dealing with my period is now a whole ordeal.

I have now started getting migraines that make me question my existence, followed by my whole body deciding to jump on the dumpster fire train. But what adds to the misery is having to go to work while my body betrays me. I have been looking at the same billboard design for the last hour, hoping no one notices that I have barely tapped on my keyboard.

If I didn’t know better, I would think I was sick.

Or maybe I am sick. While my bad mood may be the only contagious symptom, the rest should warrant a sick day without penalty. To be fair, I could probably ask my director to go home without any issue. But this is a reoccurring problem; unfortunately, our society is not built to give a shit about accommodating the complications of women’s menstrual cycles and work demands.

It is as if the natural occurrences of being a woman become obstacles to being a well-balanced, career woman. In 2023, we should stop treating men’s lives as the standard for workplace expectations. Because how can you win at work when only half the workforce can experience the burden of mother nature, and many of them don’t bother to understand?

Uncategorized

Office Black Girl Moments: Gifting Games

Featuredby The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

It is a true skill to convince people that your backward way of thinking is acceptable. Yesterday, I got to witness this skill at my own expense.

I have read stories of servers having their tips taken by owners of restaurants. While that is a terrible practice, I was surprised to find myself in a similar situation working in an office setting.

At the beginning of the holiday season, my coworker informed me that if I received a gift as a worker for the company, I was supposed to turn it over to the owner. I didn’t think much of it because I had just started working for the company and didn’t think anyone would be gifting me anything.

But I did find the thought process behind it ridiculous. I was told that I was receiving that gift because I work for the company, and it is only because of my connection to the boss that I am getting that gift.

In an “I’m too lazy to argue back” kind of way, I could see how people would accept this control freak logic. I mean, it is true the person sending me this gift would not have likely crossed my path if not for this job. However, I find it problematic that that seems to be a justification to claim a gift that was not intended for you.

While I may have received my little gift card because I work at the company, it is one less gift card that this company would have received if someone was not working in my position. It wasn’t as if I received the gift without doing any work. I sat in meetings with this person and had multiple interactions with them just to reach a mutual agreement over a proposal.

So it baffles me that a business owner would think it was a good idea to undermine a positive interaction between their employee and a sales rep by claiming their Christmas gift.

But here is the kicker? In the middle of typing this post, I was in a bit of a mood when the owner swung by my desk. Because he was sorting through the gifts and I thought how crazy it was that a wealthy man would withhold a measly gift card from his employees (and a few other gifts from others). I texted my husband about my feelings at the moment, and 5 seconds later, the gift card was dropped off on my desk.

Caesar (that is what they call him for this gift-taking practice) dropped the card off and proceeded to tell me how he usually holds on to this stuff but not this one. I told my husband, and he said that Caesar probably felt my energy. I wonder if he thought the Office Black Girl would be the one to call him out on this shit practice.

Who knows. But now I am one $25 gift card richer and one more blog post closer to being a consistent writer.

Until the next time (which will be soon due to the amount of material I just got today)…

Office Stories

Per My Previous Email…

August 19, 2019August 19, 2019by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Per my previous email…

Per the previous email that you cc’d the most irrelevant people on…

Per the previous email that I ignored due to ignorance…

Per my previous email I am done putting up with your shit…

Navigating the waters of office politics is already a labor of self preservation. Dealing with the lowly drama of fellow coworkers and stroking the fragile egos of Target loving managers is enough to make anyone hate their work environment. However, successful navigation can go off track when it comes to an office email.

Prior to this job, my experience with work emails was limited. There was either no communication done by email or the few emails exchanged left little room for ignorance. However, these days I swear it is hard not to intentionally and untentionally hit the land mine of email foolishness.

My most recent travels into the land of email insensitivity involved a coworker (we will call her Pen) finding something wrong in a campaign that was being worked on. Beyond the fact that she reached out to the wrong person, she also decided to CC me on the email along with another manager.

Of course the email didn’t include sufficient information and the “wrong person” (we will call her Ms. Direction) responded with the fact that she needed more details to (not) be helpful. Then comes the direct question to me in this group email: “Can you help with this?”

Now before I continue with my story, I did recently apologize to Pen for my email (I started typing this post weeks ago). Not because I truly felt bad about it but because I know most of my response was fueled by the annoyances of the day and Pen is honestly not the type to try and be an intentional asshole about work. So I felt I should apologize out of self awareness, because I was trying to be an asshole at the time.

Now, after I was asked to help, I deleted the email because I refused to have people add on to my already full plate. In my mind, I felt if someone had the time to find mistakes that were not directly my fault, they had time to find a resolution. So the next day, Ms. Direction sent me an email asking if I had found the information. I quickly responded with “No. But I would be happy to give the spreadsheets to Pen and she can locate the products.”

Apparently, my response didn’t go over well with management. The inactive manager on the email responded that she would locate the products herself. Which I felt like she was doing it in defense of Pen and told her it was ridiculous for her to take on more work when it was not her burden.

Then when I got up and went to the breakroom, Ms. Direction decided to have a conversation with the inactive manager about my response. It appears that some people viewed my response as harsh.

The email was even brought up to the Devil herself and she talked to other people, who were not even on the email, about it. But amusingly enough she never addressed me about it and Pen never spoke about it either.

But that is the thing about emails, it is so easy to offend someone or for others to talk to you too boldly and bring witnesses to your slaughter.

One manager (we will call her Humpty Dumpty, name inspired by a coworker) in particular would send emails to me about stuff that she thought I did wrong and cc people on it like the Devil (my direct boss), Ms. Direction (former manager and usually irrelevant on any emails sent to me), and other randoms. But I keep receipts, and I enthusiastically responded to Humpty with straight facts every time.

What is funny is that Humpty would respond back with an apology and all of those CC’d people would be removed. Being the amateur petty queen that I am, I would acknowledge the apologies……after adding all of those removed CC’d people back to the email.

Emails feel like a game to me at times and a test of my patience. From people spelling my name wrong and me fighting the urge to respond back with the misspelling of their name to just blatant disrespect. I walk close to the line at times: a manager misspelled my name in multiple emails and I started to respond back with the misspelling of his name (he eventually stopped responding with my name in the greeting). But I know where the line is and where the petty has to stop.

Tomorrow is a new day and I am sure my inbox is overdue for some new foolishness. Only time will tell…

Office Stories, Uncategorized

Smiling on Demand

July 10, 2019July 14, 2019by The Office Black Girl1 Comment

Yesterday, I meet with my manager for our weekly meeting. As always, I was expecting to be blindsided by her turn of attitude. Her persona changing from the forced smile of undersexed, dance mom to that of the Devil wears Target.

She didn’t disappoint…

I stared at this control freak of a woman, who sat across from me, with what I can only hope was a neutral expression on my face. All the while, I was already mentally checked out of the meeting when she started up with, “Now for the negative…” half way through this unproductive conversation.

As she began to relay concerns from people ranging from her boss and my coworkers in regards to my “bad attitude”, I could only think of comedians who “shucked and jived” on stage, demonstrating the joke of having to appease a white person for some sort of gain.

Then my own caricature popped in my head. An unreal version of myself that was created for the survival of being a black face in the white corporate world. Her once long straight hair, which had been slowly curling, was now natural and almost wild. The fake, broad smile that stayed plastered on her face was now gone. What remained was her full lips curled up on one side, silently making the black woman sound of disapproval, “Hmmm.”

But the most noticeable thing about my caricature, she wasn’t dancing. She was standing there with her hand at her hip looking at me. Waiting on me. Judging me.

I tuned back into the one-sided conversational assault just in time to make a small defense for myself that wasn’t worth the effort. In my mind’s eye, I could see my caricature shake her head and walk away into the darkness of my brain.

The request, demand, or statement of telling a black woman to fix her attitude feels like an attack based on a false narrative rather than constructive criticism. When I, as a black woman, sit in a department meeting full of white faces I feel like my face is the only one picked on since it sticks out. While the room is full of expressionless, somber, or focused faces, somehow only mine seems to be deemed as something different and threatening to the team dynamic.

Why is it when I speak as honestly as my white counterpart, my words are seen as laced with attitude and hostility but not hers? She is thanked for her honesty and allowed to continue on with her work while I am pulled into private meetings with management to address my attitude. Once again, I am forced to swallow my pride and who I am because something about me seems bothersome to my white superiors.

“Just Smile…”

Such a simple action. But why do I have to smile when I am not happy? Why do I have to smile when my determine expression should be all you need to know I am here to work? Why do I have to smile when no one else is?

After my meeting, I decide it is time to look for another job. It is disappointing because when I started with this company I was excited that I was joining a company where there was female leadership and a sea full of black women with natural hair. Black women who came in all shapes and sizes and seem to not put on a persona to fit some image.

But I realized, many had their own stories of being told they were “bullies” or had “negative attitudes.” They too took the beating until some left and other are left behind waiting for their exit plan to take effect as well. Now it was my turn to find some place that wouldn’t demand a smile, but would create an environment worthy of one.

As I started to think about the things I would have to do to fit in at a new company or at least to interview, my caricature started to emerge from the darkness. She was flat ironing her hair and stretching her mouth in preparation for a massive smile. But what kept me staring at her the longest were her shoes. They were tap shoes and on the side in white paint were the words “Shuck” and “Jive.”