Almost a month ago, I lost my job due to the massive impact of the coronavirus on the restaurant industry. While I was not surprised to be let go, it is inevitable repeat of history that causes me the most stress.
I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. In fact, my mom spent many of my informative years telling me not to become one despite her unfortunate fate of becoming a housewife.
Over the length of my child’s life, I have spent massive amounts of time being a stay at home mom. While I am eternally grateful to be able to spend time with my son when he was a baby/toddler, there are definitely moments when I felt I made a terrible mistake in becoming dependent on my husband financially.
I have no intention of arguing the point of feminism or what “real men” should do for their family. But from a personal perspective, I think motherhood creates sacrifices that we are often not prepared for mentally or financially.
It is those moments where you feel guilt for spending money that you did not specifically earn or when your value feels reduced to the cleanliness of the house. And that is putting it all mildly.
While I am thankful to still be able to pay my bills and even to have the time to focus on new things, there is a creeping anxiety of being reminded that I no longer work but my husband does.
As I try to pivot once again, I have decided to (try) and pursue my original love: storytelling. Since I know longer work in an office, I thought maybe I could change the direction of this blog for a bit to a story. We will see how this goes.
How are you doing during this pandemic?
The Office Black Girl 