Uncategorized – Page 2 – The Office Black Girl

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories, Uncategorized

Dogs in the Workplace

March 9, 2023by The Office Black Girl6 Comments

Confessing to people that I don’t really like dogs seems harder than telling people I don’t like children. I don’t get what it is that makes people get more offended that I am not a fan of dogs, but they will quickly agree or accept my issues with children.

I love my children and my nieces and nephews. But children, in general, are not my thing. Amusingly enough, my views about babies are similar to that of dogs. I have moments of delusion that I want another baby, just like I think I want a dog. But I am quickly reminded that I don’t want either every time.

That gibberish aside, let’s talk about my job and the dogs that frequent the space.

One of the managers has a dying dog that she brings to work every day. The dog is pretty calm and only seems to give a defensive growl when she sees someone new or an employee with a hat that she can no longer recognize.

My only issue with her is that she roams the building, and I feel like I can’t leave my food at my desk without worrying about her sticking her nose all in it. Fortunately, she doesn’t jump up for food, but I don’t think people are as mindful of how close they leave community meals near the edge of the table when she is roaming around.

The same manager has a second dog, who doesn’t like me very much. The first time I went into her office, he growled at me. Ever since, he always gives me this huff. She keeps trying to get the dog to come near me as if to apologize. But in my mind, I’m thinking, “Fuck that dog.”

Someone in accounting recently bought a puppy and has brought her into the office. She is tiny and sweet, so of course, I am unbothered by her. There is one more dog that occasionally pops in, and it is my department coworker’s dog. But her dog is old, tiny, and docile. On top of that, she understands and respects the fact that people have their reasons for not loving dogs.

But yesterday…

I was ready to snap at my boss (the owner of the company) when he brought his dog in. When I had my interview, I remember seeing a dog in the building and mentioning that during the interview. They asked if I had a problem with dogs. Of course, I said no (I needed a job) and proceeded to mention as long as it wasn’t a pit, I would be fine.

The two women looked at each other and mentioned the owner had a pit, but he doesn’t really come to the office.

Yesterday, in front of my desk, the manager’s dog (the one that doesn’t like me) and the owner’s dog had a bit of a fight. It immediately triggered my “fight or flight” anxiety.

The owner then proceeded to try to get his pit near me by saying how much I wanted to meet it (I don’t know if it is a girl or boy). I snapped and said I don’t. He then started giving me a weird look and said he didn’t know I had an issue with dogs. I immediately corrected him and told him I have no issues with dogs that are calm and I am familiar with them.

I have issues with pit bulls I have never seen that immediately get into a fight with a dog in front of me and are jump-happy.

I get people love their dogs like children, and I am just trying to get through the workday with as little drama as possible and collect my check. However, my boss would be sadly mistaken if he thinks that the wrong interaction between his dog and I won’t cost him his company.

Cause trust me, I will be quick to promote myself from The Office Black Girl to CEO.

What do you think about dogs in the workplace? Share your thoughts in the comments.

365 Days of Posts, Office Stories, Uncategorized

When the Racism Surprises You…

February 24, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

I wrote this on Monday and debated on whether I should post it. Then something reminded me of why I started this blog…

On Friday, I was discussing with a coworker about an upcoming work trip I had to take with my boss. I was explaining how there was really no reason for me to go. But my biggest concern was that I may have to share a room with her.

I work for a company where a good 35 percent (or more) of its employees are related or good family friends. The line of boundaries are definitely blurry on a daily basis. So I was concerned that my boss would think that my boundaries would allow her to think I would be okay sharing a room with her.

I am not.

While I may complain about my boss often, I realize it is more me and my need to complain rather than her…or so I thought.

As I was discussing with my coworker (white, male) that I didn’t want to share a room with someone who was going to ask me about why I did certain things to my hair at night or why I wore a bonnet to bed, he shared a problematic story with me.

There used to be a black male who worked in my department (long before me) and apparently he messed up something. She tells my coworker that his mess-up was “very niggerly of him.”

He claims he told her that she couldn’t say that and she proceeded to say it again.

I can’t even describe my feelings at the time though many thoughts ran through my head:

He was a little too comfortable repeating the word she used.
I was surprised, and I wasn’t
Maybe I need to reevaluate my employment here.

Here is where my lack of surprise comes in, she has said other derogatory things about people. Both times she said them to me.

Now before you look down on me from your high horse, I will admit I didn’t correct her. There are some people who you already know are a lost cause, and investing energy to correct them almost feels like a disservice to yourself. But I will understand if you disagree.

My husband was supportive of the idea of me leaving, but the reality is that I need this job. There are annoyances for sure, but I can’t ignore the fact that despite her MASSIVELY problematic flaws, my boss actually treats me well.

She doesn’t harass me when I am late. On more than one occasion, I couldn’t come to work for various reasons and she told me to just take care of myself and what I needed to do. Hell, she actually values my opinion at work and that is saying something given my past experiences.

But even as I type this, I can’t help but think about why I am sharing this. We live in such a woke time that I could see people judging me for not quitting or exposing her to Black Twitter.

The reality is, I know I am not the only black woman who has had to put up with shit to get to their final goal. My goal is to get me and my family to a better place financially and I need this job to do that. There are also connections that come with this job that I can’t deny either.

So at the end of the day, I have to admit that my vision of a life after this job outweighs the outrage I feel from a water cooler conversation.

However, we will see what the future holds…

365 Days of Posts, Uncategorized

Vague, Quick Update

January 24, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

It is 2 something in the afternoon, and I am struggling to get through this work day.

My head has been spinning for the last couple of days as I have replayed a conversation over and over in my head. I have WAAAAY too many things on my plate, and my husband asked about one of them. He asked if I was letting things fall to the back burner. And I think he was surprised when I said…

YES! DEFINITELY, YES!

He seemed taken aback by my answer and then asked me why I took on so much. In a reasonable, ideal world….it is a valid question. But I had to inform him that I am trying to dig myself out of debt, work a full-time job, have a side hustle (that I hope turns to a full-time job), a passion project (that I hope turns to a side hustle), be a halfway okay mom and wife (because I am too tired to be superwife/mom), and somehow get to the gym so I can lose a hundred pounds.

Everything is spilling off of my plate. The only thing that is pushing me forward is coffee and delusion. However, there is something whispering in the back of my mind that I am finally on my way to making big things happen for myself; I just have to keep all of this shit on my plate in the meantime.

As I search for my next cup of coffee, I hope you will take the time to indulge in the latest chapter of my passion project: The Ebony Alpha. You can find it on Wattpad and the Dreame app.

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Office Black Girl Moments: Gifting Games

Featuredby The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

It is a true skill to convince people that your backward way of thinking is acceptable. Yesterday, I got to witness this skill at my own expense.

I have read stories of servers having their tips taken by owners of restaurants. While that is a terrible practice, I was surprised to find myself in a similar situation working in an office setting.

At the beginning of the holiday season, my coworker informed me that if I received a gift as a worker for the company, I was supposed to turn it over to the owner. I didn’t think much of it because I had just started working for the company and didn’t think anyone would be gifting me anything.

But I did find the thought process behind it ridiculous. I was told that I was receiving that gift because I work for the company, and it is only because of my connection to the boss that I am getting that gift.

In an “I’m too lazy to argue back” kind of way, I could see how people would accept this control freak logic. I mean, it is true the person sending me this gift would not have likely crossed my path if not for this job. However, I find it problematic that that seems to be a justification to claim a gift that was not intended for you.

While I may have received my little gift card because I work at the company, it is one less gift card that this company would have received if someone was not working in my position. It wasn’t as if I received the gift without doing any work. I sat in meetings with this person and had multiple interactions with them just to reach a mutual agreement over a proposal.

So it baffles me that a business owner would think it was a good idea to undermine a positive interaction between their employee and a sales rep by claiming their Christmas gift.

But here is the kicker? In the middle of typing this post, I was in a bit of a mood when the owner swung by my desk. Because he was sorting through the gifts and I thought how crazy it was that a wealthy man would withhold a measly gift card from his employees (and a few other gifts from others). I texted my husband about my feelings at the moment, and 5 seconds later, the gift card was dropped off on my desk.

Caesar (that is what they call him for this gift-taking practice) dropped the card off and proceeded to tell me how he usually holds on to this stuff but not this one. I told my husband, and he said that Caesar probably felt my energy. I wonder if he thought the Office Black Girl would be the one to call him out on this shit practice.

Who knows. But now I am one $25 gift card richer and one more blog post closer to being a consistent writer.

Until the next time (which will be soon due to the amount of material I just got today)…

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Crossing the Line

December 21, 2022by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

I remember years ago trying to be a blogger/vlogger. Times were different. I was different. Like so many kids today, I overshared and had an unfiltered approach to being a content creator. Well, maybe there was some filter. Because when I reflect back on my early 20s, I had some sense not to share every foolish decision I made.

But creating content is so much easier when there is no line to worry about. The line is what I struggle with constantly. I find myself being served with a great idea, but I wonder what would happen if this blog suddenly blew up (laughable now….but it could happen)? What would be the end result?

I am a black woman in an almost all-white company. While I grew up in a predominately white environment, I don’t know if I have ever been faced with so many conversations pertaining to race in the workspace. I share stories with my friends, and the question always lingers: are these moments blatantly racist, or are these white people who don’t have enough exposure to black people to know better.

Don’t get me wrong, my fingers itch to post every time race is brought up at work, but it is a struggle because I know these people and, for the most part, genuinely like most of them. However, I feel like the line stops me. A line that I don’t know how far over I am willing to cross just yet.

Most black people have put up with their share of foolishness at the office. But in this age of social media and the climate of racial discussions, I wonder if black people would be my greatest obstacle in sharing my story as I continue to stay the office black girl beyond the keyboard.

Only time will tell….

Married Life, Uncategorized

No Job, New Content

April 20, 2020by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Almost a month ago, I lost my job due to the massive impact of the coronavirus on the restaurant industry. While I was not surprised to be let go, it is inevitable repeat of history that causes me the most stress.

I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. In fact, my mom spent many of my informative years telling me not to become one despite her unfortunate fate of becoming a housewife.

Over the length of my child’s life, I have spent massive amounts of time being a stay at home mom. While I am eternally grateful to be able to spend time with my son when he was a baby/toddler, there are definitely moments when I felt I made a terrible mistake in becoming dependent on my husband financially.

I have no intention of arguing the point of feminism or what “real men” should do for their family. But from a personal perspective, I think motherhood creates sacrifices that we are often not prepared for mentally or financially.

It is those moments where you feel guilt for spending money that you did not specifically earn or when your value feels reduced to the cleanliness of the house. And that is putting it all mildly.

While I am thankful to still be able to pay my bills and even to have the time to focus on new things, there is a creeping anxiety of being reminded that I no longer work but my husband does.

As I try to pivot once again, I have decided to (try) and pursue my original love: storytelling. Since I know longer work in an office, I thought maybe I could change the direction of this blog for a bit to a story. We will see how this goes.

How are you doing during this pandemic?

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Disappearing Act

December 29, 2019by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Don’t you love when you find something interesting and it just disappears with no idea of when it will return?

After my last blog post, I thought I would not be able to continue. The thought that I would not be able to provide relevant content was soon overshadowed by personal and work drama. My life was giving me plenty of content and an awakened demon of depression. Unfortunately, it was a recipe for shutdown.

But I realized that now is the time to share that content and refocus my energy from the very things that bring dark thoughts to my mind and panic attacks to my heart and lungs.

I appreciate those of you have tuned in and I am ready to share the craziness that has been the last few months. Because what better way to work out my problems than an anonymous blog? I mean speaking to a mental health professional would be ideal, but who has the money or weekday work hours for that? Hint: not me.

Uncategorized

Appearing Unbothered When You May Be Dead Inside

August 2, 2019by The Office Black Girl4 Comments

It has been weeks since my last post and that was not intentional. I have several posts sitting in draft status, waiting to share the depths and shallowness of my inner thoughts.

But like so many things in my life, I get overwhelmed by my own goals and dreams. Then sprinkle that with some personal drama and depression and I easily lose focus. However, it is my current dance with depression that is motivating me to blog today.

There is something about being a black woman in the world (office included) that makes you feel the need to put on any face that can’t be read as weak. Usually, many see the face of what some may deem as a bitch. But my favorite is the one that is hard to read. You can’t tell what I am thinking or feeling behind my expression and behind that face is my safe space.

After a long day of maintaining this face while on the inside I was breaking down, I am forced to put it back on despite a mini break.

I sit on the couch, alone, where the only sense of light is a lamp I am too lazy to turn off and the sound of the a/c drowns out the soft noise of my husband’s snores. But even in the near darkness and loneliness, I can’t take this mask off.

While sleep may have found him, she is somewhere beyond my current comprehension. Probably being smothered by the thoughts of my current marital and personal struggles. See I can’t go to sleep because she doesn’t want to fight hard enough to save me or herself. So I sit here typing while my thoughts turn into a poison paralyzing my body, preventing me from getting up and going to bed. A bed that tells me I am unwelcome despite the vacancy sign.

I’ve spent most of my adult life consciously and unconsciously training for this persona of unbotheredness. While depression has consumed me at times to the point of almost no return, I never let anyone see it who I didn’t want to see. My soul may have been dying, but on the outside no one knew.

I have no intention of opening myself up to strangers……well beyond the the anonymity of this blog. Or suddenly becoming a healthy, well-functioning adult, though my friends may argue my lacking in that department makes me a good story teller. But I am working on myself everyday. Baby steps.

That first step is finishing a blog post before the poison works its way down to my fingers. Because writing (blogging) is important to me. When I was young writing and reading were like my only friends. My husband used to tell me he feel in love with my words and that I was surgical with them. Though now it seems as though my precision is more of a negative in his eyes than a romantic notion these days, but that is a battle for another day.

It is almost time for bed, maybe a sleeping pill will help free sleep from its bondage. Guess we will soon find out 😉

Office Stories, Uncategorized

Smiling on Demand

July 10, 2019July 14, 2019by The Office Black Girl1 Comment

Yesterday, I meet with my manager for our weekly meeting. As always, I was expecting to be blindsided by her turn of attitude. Her persona changing from the forced smile of undersexed, dance mom to that of the Devil wears Target.

She didn’t disappoint…

I stared at this control freak of a woman, who sat across from me, with what I can only hope was a neutral expression on my face. All the while, I was already mentally checked out of the meeting when she started up with, “Now for the negative…” half way through this unproductive conversation.

As she began to relay concerns from people ranging from her boss and my coworkers in regards to my “bad attitude”, I could only think of comedians who “shucked and jived” on stage, demonstrating the joke of having to appease a white person for some sort of gain.

Then my own caricature popped in my head. An unreal version of myself that was created for the survival of being a black face in the white corporate world. Her once long straight hair, which had been slowly curling, was now natural and almost wild. The fake, broad smile that stayed plastered on her face was now gone. What remained was her full lips curled up on one side, silently making the black woman sound of disapproval, “Hmmm.”

But the most noticeable thing about my caricature, she wasn’t dancing. She was standing there with her hand at her hip looking at me. Waiting on me. Judging me.

I tuned back into the one-sided conversational assault just in time to make a small defense for myself that wasn’t worth the effort. In my mind’s eye, I could see my caricature shake her head and walk away into the darkness of my brain.

The request, demand, or statement of telling a black woman to fix her attitude feels like an attack based on a false narrative rather than constructive criticism. When I, as a black woman, sit in a department meeting full of white faces I feel like my face is the only one picked on since it sticks out. While the room is full of expressionless, somber, or focused faces, somehow only mine seems to be deemed as something different and threatening to the team dynamic.

Why is it when I speak as honestly as my white counterpart, my words are seen as laced with attitude and hostility but not hers? She is thanked for her honesty and allowed to continue on with her work while I am pulled into private meetings with management to address my attitude. Once again, I am forced to swallow my pride and who I am because something about me seems bothersome to my white superiors.

“Just Smile…”

Such a simple action. But why do I have to smile when I am not happy? Why do I have to smile when my determine expression should be all you need to know I am here to work? Why do I have to smile when no one else is?

After my meeting, I decide it is time to look for another job. It is disappointing because when I started with this company I was excited that I was joining a company where there was female leadership and a sea full of black women with natural hair. Black women who came in all shapes and sizes and seem to not put on a persona to fit some image.

But I realized, many had their own stories of being told they were “bullies” or had “negative attitudes.” They too took the beating until some left and other are left behind waiting for their exit plan to take effect as well. Now it was my turn to find some place that wouldn’t demand a smile, but would create an environment worthy of one.

As I started to think about the things I would have to do to fit in at a new company or at least to interview, my caricature started to emerge from the darkness. She was flat ironing her hair and stretching her mouth in preparation for a massive smile. But what kept me staring at her the longest were her shoes. They were tap shoes and on the side in white paint were the words “Shuck” and “Jive.”

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Who is the Office Black Girl?

July 7, 2019July 7, 2019by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Since you are reading this, I want to thank you for your curiosity about the office black girl. Honestly, I am a little curious to find out who she is myself.

In 2009, I started another blog. One fueled by the beginning of the influencer era: beauty reviews, free products, and click bait. 10 years later, I am in a different place, on a path I wouldn’t have imagined for myself when I was 21 years old.

The Office Black Girl is my journey to creating my own table while still trying to maintain my seat at a table I waited so long to join. A table that is filled with changing faces, fear, insecurity, and misunderstanding. Therefore, I plan to keep this blog anonymous for now.

My goals for this blog are to share my stories and experiences as the black girl in the office and to be able to express myself without the fear of negative repercussions. The Office Black Girl will not just be about being a minority in the corporate world, but the life that shapes someone outside of the office as well.

I hope you will enjoy reading my blog as I make my way back into writing (it has been a few years) and thank you again for checking out my blog.