Uncategorized – The Office Black Girl

The Nothingness of My Days Bring Me Peace….

August 12, 2024by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Daily writing prompt

What brings you peace?

It feels like several lifetimes have passed over the course of this past year, and it has been an exhausting ride. I have found myself trying to push through and fight for things that have often ended with disappointing results. But the disappointment doesn’t stop at the failure of a task but rolls into the dreams and aspirations of the following parts of my life.

Today has been the type of Monday that feels uniquely painful because I truly went to bed the night before, hopeful to get things done….but as I sit at work typing this….my task list remains untouched.

When I saw this prompt, I dismissed my disappointment that I didn’t tackle my original post idea and focused on this moment. What brings me peace?

For a brief moment, my mind went blank when I thought about the question. But I realized what I consider to be the nothingness moments of my day are what bring me peace.

My peace comes from getting lost in a book that I have read multiple times before. It is laying in bed with my husband early in the morning while he mumbles words into my back while I am half asleep, especially when I know he is trying to quietly speak life into me.

Peace is hearing kids call my son’s name when we visit his school for an event, knowing he is not alone in the school. It feels as though my peace is rooted in the present. When I can focus on what is happening in the moment even if it is small, because my mind goes into chaos when I focus on anything but the present moment.

I am choosing to end this unproductive day peacefully and unedited, knowing I will try tomorrow but not beat myself up today.

Uncategorized

Sneak Peek: Christmas Coloring Book Coming Soon…

October 25, 2023October 27, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

I had this idea about creating a coloring book for ages. So when I finally pulled the trigger, I was deeply touched by the love and support I received for The Office Black Girl Coloring Book.

With the holiday season just around the corner, I had been wanting to create a coloring book for Christmas. And I did!

I will be releasing my newest coloring book on Amazon on November 1st (fingers crossed), and it will be available for digital download tomorrow on my Etsy shop. The images are inspired by Christmas in the office and the holiday office parties.

Here is a sneak peek of a few of the pages 😉

Amazon Front and Back Cover

Etsy Product Display

Some of the coloring pages….

I am excited about my second coloring book and hope you will enjoy it as well. Save 30% on coloring pages now through October 31st with code “BLOG30.”

Sunday Book Club, Uncategorized

Sunday Book Club: Until I Get You By Claire Contreras

October 22, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a commission from qualifying purchases from featured links in this post.

With the best intentions of being productive, I started to frame the works of this post earlier this week. I even scheduled a social media post. But as I laid in bed enjoying the benefits of Instacart, being off, and my latest Kindle read (Reverse Pass by Maggie Rawdon), I lost track of time.

But I am working on my follow-through and thought this post would be better late than never, right?

This week, I wanted to feature a story that I have actually gone back and read a few times (or at least the second act of it). Despite reading my fair share of college athlete novels, at 35 years old, I usually prefer older characters. I get this is a fantasy, but I am always amused at how the male lead characters are always very generous to their partners despite being manwhores and are very mindful of condoms.

I slept with my share of college athletes, and most were selfish and disappointing in the sack. On top of trying to slip it in without strapping it up.

With that being said, I still had to recommend this book. Until I Get You does start off in a college setting, and the storyline is a bit on the darker side (so please read triggers/tropes). But the second half of the book is post-college (and the part that keeps me going back).

Lachlan, who is the male main character, is a star hockey player and (shocker) a manwhore. His attention is drawn to Lyla at a party, and eventually, a relationship blooms. Unfortunately, their relationship must remain in the shadows due to darker forces that haunt Lyla’s past and present.

When Lachlan and Lyla are forced to go their separate ways (the post-college portion), that is where the book has a hold on me. In real life, I am not much for the idea of my husband turning into some possessive/obsessive asshole. But book boyfriends are a bit of another story…

In a fantasy world, there is something appealing about a man who gives up his career to find you. The sprinkle in that you both have this all-consuming magnetism for each other even when you straddle the thin line of love and hate at any given moment. *chef’s kiss*

Until I Get You delivers spice and a plot line that is rememberable beyond a sexy, possessive athlete. I have read my share of hockey-themed romance books, and this one delivers something different than your typical formula: fake dating, friends to lovers, etc. It was also refreshing to see a little more diversity in the character pool, with Lyla’s character being of Dominican descent.

If you are into darker-themed romances (which seems to be my current obsession), I would highly recommend this book.

Order Your Copy Today
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Kindle/KU: https://amzn.to/46CUb1N
Audible: https://amzn.to/3Qaw5nZ

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365 Days of Posts, Office Stories, The Ebony Alpha, Uncategorized, Updates

Grateful Chaos

October 2, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

The last two weeks have not gone quite how I expected. Despite feeling like a Mack truck has run me over every morning, I am actually in a really good head space.

I just wanted to give a quick update as I finally start to recover from the craziness that has been the last two weeks…

My small business was given an opportunity for a new venture. Unfortunately, the timeline was right in the midst of a big work event, and I underestimated how long it would take. BUT…..I pushed through and got it done, and I think the client was really happy. Plus, it has given me a new fire for my business, which was slowly dying to glowing embers.
I got a raise at work and my own office. My boss is at retirement age, but she is pretty much the owner of the company’s right-hand (wo)man. I feel like she is doing all she can to make sure I don’t quit. I don’t necessarily want her job (at least not all of it; she wears too many hats), but if my business doesn’t blow up…I wouldn’t be surprised if I was named her successor.
My job has a yearly event that is almost two weeks long. I really wanted to update The Ebony Alpha, but between the crazy work schedule and my business project, I couldn’t muster enough brain cells to push through and put out anything good. But I am determined to get a few updates this week.
Lastly, I finally launched The Office Black Girl Coloring Book last month. The paperback is available on Amazon and the digital download is available on Etsy. As of today, I have sold 27 paperbacks and 20 digital downloads. That may seem small to some, but I know how hard it is to get noticed online for anything, so I am soooooo grateful for the orders. If you happen to purchase one, I would greatly appreciate it if you could leave a review (especially a picture one on Amazon ;-)). Gotta compete with the algorithm.

The chaos is calming down at work, but my creative juices are returning. So I am excited to get back into writing and maybe creating another coloring book.

Thank you for all of the new followers and the engagement I have received for The Office Black Girl on various platforms. It honestly means so much.

Here’s to October being an amazing month!

Uncategorized

Keeping Your Enemies Close and Sometimes in Your Corner

September 6, 2023by The Office Black Girl1 Comment

When people show you who they are, believe them. When people who matter to you confirm who those people are….believe them.

I have a “friend” that I have known since high school. Our friendship fell a bit off track when she graduated, and I moved away from home after college. But when I returned home, we quickly fell back into a friendship, especially since we had kids that were close in age.

For years, my husband has told me that my friend hated me, but I always thought that was laughable because she never did anything to show me she hated me. Well, except for repeatedly sharing an unflattering story about me from college that I think she may have been too drunk to remember correctly because it never sounds accurate. Oh, and frequently reminds me that one of her best friends happens to be a girl who became an enemy over a boy (that is a whole other story).

Now, I know what you are thinking…I sound dumb af. Which as I reread those words, I would agree. But while those two things are problematic, she has been a friend to me over the years. Even taking my son off my hands for a night when my husband was away, and it felt like the world was crashing on me. I didn’t even ask; she just did it because I was breaking down.

But maybe that is the thing: people have no problem supporting you when you are drowning. But when you are thriving, you are too caught up in doing well that you overlook them quietly exiting your corner.

I want to see people win. Strangers, friends, and every black woman who crosses my path (as long as she has crossed me). There have been plenty of days where I was definitely losing, and while I may have felt a slight pain that I wasn’t where I wanted to be when I saw someone else winning…I never thought I hoped they failed.

It is thoroughly bizarre to me the effort people put into hoping others fail. While I don’t know if my “friend” wants me to fail, it was an eye-opener when I saw her share a random white woman’s post hyping up a local black-owned business. A business that is in the same niche as mine.

But my “friend” doesn’t share my business content. She has never purchased from me, and I can’t remember her liking or engaging with my business content. Not that she owes me her support, but I find it funny that she will share a complete stranger’s content before double-tapping on my business post. While there have been other red flags that I have overlooked, for some reason, that was the breaking point that made me realize maybe our friendship isn’t what I thought it was.

I have been unintentionally keeping my enemy closer than my friends.

Lesson learned. I’m just glad this wasn’t a hard one.

Uncategorized

National Black Business Month and AI’s “Helping” Hand(s)

August 8, 2023August 11, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

I have been using AI a lot lately. Which comes with a mixed bag of feelings. As someone who has had to work freelance to pay bills and currently works in a competitive, creative niche….AI is quickly making my skills feel unnecessary in this competitive job market.

But as a small business owner who can not afford to outsource certain things and doesn’t have the time to create everything from scratch, I find AI to be an amazing (and horrifying tool). Most of my usage has been for generating images that I can manipulate later when I can’t find a good stock image. But I have also used it to help with SEO product descriptions (the jury is still out on the success of that one).

So I wanted to see if a blog post could be created that didn’t sound like it was full of shit. With one try and the prompt of “SEO Blog Post About the Importance of Shopping Black Owned Businesses during August,” AI generated the following (including the title):

Title: The Significance of Supporting Black-Owned Businesses this August and Beyond: A Guide to Empowering Change

Introduction:
In a world where economic empowerment holds the key to social progress, supporting Black-owned businesses has emerged as a powerful means of fostering equity and inclusion. This August, as we celebrate Black Business Month, there’s no better time to delve into the importance of shopping from Black-owned businesses and explore the transformative impact it can have on communities and the economy.

1. Celebrating Black Business Month:
August is not only a time of summer fun but also an opportunity to highlight the accomplishments and contributions of Black entrepreneurs. Black Business Month encourages us to recognize the resilience, creativity, and innovation of these business owners, whose enterprises span various industries, from fashion to technology.

2. Economic Empowerment and Wealth Redistribution:
Supporting Black-owned businesses is more than just a consumer choice; it’s an active commitment to reshaping economic landscapes. By diverting our purchasing power towards these businesses, we help to redistribute wealth within historically marginalized communities. This redistribution of resources fosters economic independence and reduces the racial wealth gap, ultimately creating a more equitable society.

3. Fostering Local Community Growth:
Black-owned businesses are often deeply connected to their local communities. These businesses create jobs, provide goods and services, and contribute to the overall vitality of neighborhoods. When we choose to spend our dollars at Black-owned establishments, we invest in the growth of these communities and contribute to their sustainability.

4. Promoting Diversity and Representation:
Representation matters. Supporting Black-owned businesses sends a powerful message about the importance of diversity and inclusion within the business world. When consumers see diverse entrepreneurs succeeding, it not only challenges stereotypes but also inspires future generations to pursue their entrepreneurial dreams regardless of their background.

5. Driving Innovation and Creativity:
Black-owned businesses bring unique perspectives and innovative ideas to the market. By supporting these businesses, we encourage the development of new products, services, and solutions that can benefit society as a whole. A diverse business landscape enhances competition and pushes industries forward through creative disruption.

6. Creating Lasting Change:
The act of shopping at Black-owned businesses is not limited to a single month. It’s a commitment that should extend throughout the year. By consistently supporting these businesses, we contribute to sustainable change and empower entrepreneurs to overcome challenges and seize opportunities.

7. Tips for Supporting Black-Owned Businesses:
a. Research and Discover: Use online directories and platforms that highlight Black-owned businesses in various industries.
b. Word of Mouth: Spread the word about your positive experiences with Black-owned businesses to encourage others to support them.
c. Engage on Social Media: Follow, like, and share posts from Black-owned businesses to amplify their reach.
d. Attend Events: Participate in local markets, workshops, and events organized by Black entrepreneurs.
e. Collaborate: If you’re a business owner yourself, consider collaborating with Black-owned businesses to foster mutually beneficial partnerships.

Conclusion:
The month of August serves as a reminder to consciously choose where we spend our money. By supporting Black-owned businesses, we contribute to a more inclusive, equitable, and thriving economy. This August, let’s celebrate Black Business Month not just as a time of reflection, but as a catalyst for long-term change that ripples through communities and generations, uplifting all of us in the process.

Is that not crazy? I spent hours trying to generate content for clients that this program did in seconds. While AI is not perfect (I can’t tell you how many pictures I have generated with multi-armed people or ones missing limbs), it is a fascinating tool and a game changer. But every day, I wonder if that game changer will be for good. Something tells me the end result will be like the Aliens. We won’t even be surprised. But instead of being smart about it, we are distracted with other things.

In the meantime, here are several black-owned businesses that I think you should check out, not just for August:

Solar Candle Company
J. Antoinette 1927
Azur Scrubs
The Burning Wic Candle and Gift Shop
Dear Life Chat
DyCan Cosmetics

As I explore more black-owned businesses, I want to try and build a directory. But for now, I hope you will check out these amazing businesses.

Any thoughts on AI? Any black-owned shops you recommend I should try?

Uncategorized

Do It Anyway Because…Why Not?

June 12, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

Years ago, I worked at a company that was toxic. What a surprise, right?

While there were many problems with the company and leadership, I couldn’t deny that the company put many women in leadership roles. Should those women have been in management? Fuck no. But it was something (I guess).

Despite the poor examples of women in leadership roles, there was a meeting they held on Women’s International Day or during Women’s History Month (I don’t remember), and one of the women VPs made a comment that will forever stay with me.

She talked about applying for jobs and the difference between men and women. When women apply for a job, they ask the question of “why,” while men often say, “Why not?”

As women, we often look at job postings and compare them to our own experiences and overthink the process. But a man who may have little to no qualifications that match will proceed with an application and say, “Why not me?”

While this is an overgeneralization, it has stuck with me. I have often limited myself because it is hard to wrap my mind around the idea of “Why not” as opposed to thinking of every reason why I shouldn’t or what could go wrong.

The Office Black girl is a prime example of my overthinking. My dashboard sits with dozens of started blog posts that sit in drafts because I am wary of posting them. The same goes with stories I have started and sit hidden on my laptop. Because I dwell too much on the idea that I will create stories that will offend, bore, or go completely unnoticed. What if I share something that reads like an incompetent person wrote it? So I ask myself….why? Why share my stories? Why embarrass myself?

It’s funny what a couple sessions of therapy and a song can do for your mindset.

Recently, I stumbled across this song by Erica Mason called “Do It Anyway,” and it has been on repeat during my morning commute to work. It’s definitely a motivator to really push myself in the areas I am passionate about despite my hesitations. Maybe I’ll even post/share those drafts that have been clogging up my dashboard and laptop.

While I still ask, “Why,” my brain is slowly starting to lean more frequently toward “Why not” and proceed to do it anyway. Hopefully, this is a wave I can ride for a while. Or better yet….why not forever?

What is motivating you these days?

Mental Health Journey, Motherhood, Uncategorized

Therapy Journey: Surprise…I’m Depressed

June 9, 2023by The Office Black Girl1 Comment

It is a Friday night, and I am trying to milk the last of the power of my ADHD medication to push me through to type this.

Since my first post about therapy, I have had two sessions. Before my first session, my husband and I had an uncomfortable conversation about his next career move and the impact it will have on my mental health. I immediately informed him that I had started the process of going to therapy, and he sounded relieved, even proud.

I didn’t tell anyone else before my first session. I wanted to see what I was getting myself into first.

My first session was a bit of a hot mess, but that was on me. I found myself word vomiting answers that weren’t part of her questions. But at the same time, I was holding back because I was all too aware that my husband and son were within hearing distance.

To add to the hot mess, my phone was blowing up during the session (I took the video call on my phone), and I had to hang up at one point because of an Instacart drama. After that first session, she sent me a packet about dealing with depression, and it was an eye-opener.

In the two weeks that followed, I realized I have been battling with depression for a while and have downplayed it as something else. On the day of my second session, I woke up and just felt dead inside and realized that it was not uncommon for me to feel that way.

When I got to work that day, I started wondering if I needed to be on antidepressants. But I knew that would be another hurdle because my therapist doesn’t have the ability to write prescriptions and my insurance is already a bit of a headache about dealing with mental health that doesn’t involve the immediate threat of suicide.

During my second session, we discussed the causes of my depression and my spiraling episodes, as well as techniques to help deal with depression.

The biggest thing I took from the second session was the idea of “should.” She made me realize how much of a hold that idea of what I “should” be fuels my spiral. The idea that I should be further in my career, I should be a better mother/wife, I should be doing a lot of things, are expectations that I put on myself that hinder me from moving forward or even finding joy.

I have been working on the idea of letting go of “should” and replacing it with “I am doing the best that I can” or some other forgiving/positive thought. But I won’t lie, it is hard. I was raised with expectations and they are deeply rooted in me. So the idea that I am falling short of them on a daily basis feels like it is a hard thing to just give myself a pass that doesn’t feel deserved.

While I’m still not sure how I feel about therapy so far, I am anxious to continue. Maybe that is what I am overlooking….my way of thinking is what landed me in therapy. Maybe it is time to really give in to thinking a different way and therapy is definitely different.

What does therapy mean to you? Is it a space to vent, be analyzed, be comforted, or something else? Comment below because I would love to know what others think about therapy.

Uncategorized

My “Weirdness” About Memorial Day

May 29, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

I need to start off with the fact that Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day are not the same. Memorial Day is to remember those who passed away while serving our country. Veteran’s Day is for all who have served.

It is probably not that serious in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason, I find great annoyance when I see people’s posts, especially a business, that seems to lump the two together.

I will also add, my husband served, as well as my father and several other family members. It s probably what makes me more aware of the way people seem to confuse the two days, but I think it would slightly bug me even if I had no connection to the military.

As a business owner and someone who works in marketing, I always feel weird about posting about certain holidays, and Memorial Day is one of them. I am an overthinker, so that doesn’t help my cringe.

I feel some type of way about posting sales for a holiday that is meant to honor the dead, but I am not immune to engaging in a sale or enjoying the day off (though my current job does not believe in taking off for Memorial Day). I try to acknowledge the day for what it is, but as a black business owner operating during an overly sensitive time period, I get wary that a potential customer will look at my business as “too political.”

Even crazier, I get worried that my “patriotic” post will attract extreme right-leaning followers who will then be offended when I make a reference to being a “black woman-owned business.” While I don’t care if my customers’ political views align with mine, I just don’t want it to be an issue when they engage with me and my business.

With all of the crazy that runs through my mind, I do choose to at least post about it. A few years ago, a friend of mine from college was killed while serving. Only months before, he had messaged me that he was finally going to get out of the military. I found out he was killed through Facebook. He had served for as long as I had known him, but to think he was ready to get out and finally start a new chapter in his life…

…it makes it that much more important that I acknowledge Memorial Day for what it is. A remembrance of those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Uncategorized

Double Homicide: Offending Black People and Asians

April 20, 2023by The Office Black GirlLeave a Comment

It is the end of the day, and I have been running on fumes since I woke up this morning.

I even contemplated how I was going to find the energy to talk about my hair being the topic of discussion at work, but after another racially focused conversation with my boss…

I figured, let’s get into it…while on the clock.

One of my good friends is getting married this weekend. Because I don’t have the time or patience to deal with getting my hair done, I decided to put passion twists in my hair this past weekend. I figured the changing of my hair would bring some people to comment (it always does), but today felt a bit different.

The only people who commented were the owner of the company, a manager, and one other person. All three of them are white men. I don’t think a single woman said anything to me about my hair today. The manager asked me how long it took, which took me by surprise. He and the owner both told me my hair looked nice. I awkwardly accepted the comment and moved on.

But it was the third guy who made me feel some type of way. He said my hair made me look like I was ready to fight. I rolled with it and said I am always ready to fight to make a joke out of it. A coworker from my department happened to be around, and she made a comment. She asked if I had ever worked somewhere where so many people had something to say about my hair.

I was quick to suppress my initial response of “No, because I have never worked in such a minimally diverse company before,” but I just laughed and told her no.

But it is not the first time that someone has made a comment about me basically whooping someone’s ass. I was introduced to a new employee, and his manager basically told him that while my coworker may kick his butt, I definitely would. On St. Patrick’s Day, I failed to wear green, and another manager made a comment about if she pinched me that I would probably knock her out.

There have been other comments here and there, but today really had me reflect on them. I am not a tiny girl, and I definitely make it known that I will not put up with shit. But at the same time, I can not recall a time that I have asserted myself as a violent person without real provocation.

I told my husband, as I always do. He asked if I was okay, and I said either I am too tired or I just accepted that it isn’t worth having the awkward conversation. Though I did ask the manager if I seemed like a violent person. He said no and smirked before saying I look like I could hold my own, though, and I look like I was “raised.”

But as I step away from my assumptions about my coworkers and my blackness, I stepped right into another conversation about Asians.

Now, I do feel like we live in an overly PC society these days, and many people are too easily offended. However, I try to stay in my lane to some extent. It is not my place to tell another marginalized group how they should feel about certain language targeted at them. So when it comes to the word “Oriental,” I try to fall in line with the least problematic approach.

So today, my boss is telling us a story and stated that he was informed he shouldn’t use a word about Asians. While he was trying to remember the word, I offered, “I hope you don’t mean ‘oriental.'”

He tells me that it is and asks me why it is offensive and why young people felt it was their job to dictate that. I always find it funny how comfortable he is spewing out bullshit.

I simply told him from my understanding that oriental is usually in reference to objects and that the history of the word has had a negative connotation in reference to Asian people. Long story short, he stated he would still use the word and he determined it was not offensive.

WTF!?

It is such a roller coaster working here because, for the most part, I genuinely like the people I work with, but some of the older people (and a few younger ones) say some problematic shit. And I always wonder where that leaves me when I am smack dab in the middle of it with no exit plan.