It feels like several lifetimes have passed over the course of this past year, and it has been an exhausting ride. I have found myself trying to push through and fight for things that have often ended with disappointing results. But the disappointment doesn’t stop at the failure of a task but rolls into the dreams and aspirations of the following parts of my life.
Today has been the type of Monday that feels uniquely painful because I truly went to bed the night before, hopeful to get things done….but as I sit at work typing this….my task list remains untouched.
When I saw this prompt, I dismissed my disappointment that I didn’t tackle my original post idea and focused on this moment. What brings me peace?
For a brief moment, my mind went blank when I thought about the question. But I realized what I consider to be the nothingness moments of my day are what bring me peace.
My peace comes from getting lost in a book that I have read multiple times before. It is laying in bed with my husband early in the morning while he mumbles words into my back while I am half asleep, especially when I know he is trying to quietly speak life into me.
Peace is hearing kids call my son’s name when we visit his school for an event, knowing he is not alone in the school. It feels as though my peace is rooted in the present. When I can focus on what is happening in the moment even if it is small, because my mind goes into chaos when I focus on anything but the present moment.
I am choosing to end this unproductive day peacefully and unedited, knowing I will try tomorrow but not beat myself up today.
The Office Black Girl 